Visiting You

As you can see from the pics...Our son was born in June 2006. The first pic is the first time we visited you (Aug 2nd,2006...he was 6 weeks old)

Then we returned for a visit Aug 2nd, 2007, and again Aug 2nd, 2008.

All dates are on the celebration of your birth.....not of your death...I want him to know you as a positive idea.....He's only 2 1/2, and I dont speak of you much...but, as he gets older....he will know of you...and every year will be a tradition...reguardless of whether Im working or not that day!

I was amazed this last visit.....its like he remembers...he even helped me put the balloon next to your stone :) It was sweet!!

He's growing big....I know you see him everyday....I know you are helping watching over him! you always protected me, Lisa...Perhaps, the timing of your death was so that you could be his guardian angel. After all, he was concieved just 4 months after you died...and born on the same month that you died. I'm sure God put you in charge of guarding him....he saw how great you were to help protect me....

I miss you every day, dear sister....and I would give anything to add just one more day....to the last day I saw you....I learned that life is short, and don't leave things on a bad note....

I love you

ultrasound pics

Lisa, here are pictures of your neice or nephew!!
The bottom one was done at 6 weeks, and the other 3 were done at 11 wks 5 days!!

We are soooo happy to be pregnant! I saw the specialist and he says all is perfect so far!!

Wish you were here....but you are, I know!
I love you

It's REAL!!

Expecting our miracle June 2006!!

Lisa,
Well, as you know, we are really truly pregnant!! After trying for 7 yrs, after suffering the miscarriage, after numerous rounds of Clomid...Our miracle is really here!
I wish you were here right now so I could see your face when you found out you were going to be an Aunt!
I know you are with Jesus right now smiling down on us...saying, "Trust Me!".
We had our very first ultrasound done on 11/05/2005, where we were actually able to see a beautiful heartbeat of 126 beats per minute! Thats perfect!! When I can, I will post a pic here for ya!

We are sooooo happy!! Especially since seeing the heartbeat! They say our chances of having a successful pregnancy go up now to 80%! I can live with that!

Today I felt a bit surreal. I actually cried tears of joy this evening because its all sinking in for me. I look at the sonogram picture, and I am in awe of this little person inside of me. I wonder if it will be a boy or girl? We are going to find out as soon as we can!!
I have another u/s scheduled for 11/8/05, as well as a prenatal appointment.

We are sooo blessed right now to be given the chance to be good parents!
(good news, LOL....I feel nausious right now!)

I love you, Auntie LIsa!!

Im Pregnant, Dear Sister!!

Yesterday I found out I was officially pregnant!! A blood test confirmed my HPT.

We are soooo excited LIsa!! We know you had a hand in making this happen, and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts!!

Were just hoping at this point that we make it the entire 9 months!! Is He going to give us a boy or girl??

Our baby will be due in June, the month to the year of your passing. But, if God and you are giving the blessing of delievery, it wont be such a glooomy , sad month. It will be full of miracles...I wont always have June be the month my sister, my life passed on, but the month of the birth of my much wanted, much planned baby. Its just poetic, if you ask me.

I go for my second beta tomorrow!! wish me luck!! I love you , my sister, my angel.

Reality

A certain reality has been setting in for me. It's the reality that you are really gone from my life.
My mind has done what its famous for, paralyzing me from the pain. But, Lisa, there are those moments of weakness when I am driving along the freeway, and a certain song comes on the radio, and I begin to cry...and when the crying isnt enough, I scream to you that I can not do this...I can not handle this.
You were my family. It was always you and I. Now, its just I.
Its a cruel world, LIsa, as you know by now, Laura's cousin, your good friend, Larry also passed away recently. What a crued life to throw at someone....first, Laura lost you, now, less than 3 months later, she loses her close cousin. And what Jody must be going through. Her best friend, and now her brother?

I know that there can be no other pain in this world like the pain I am feeling now. I just hope that if Chris and I ever concieve, that we have a healthy, full termed baby that out lives us.

I love you , Lisa. I miss you sooo much, and be assured, if we do end up pregnant, and have a girl, she will have your middle name as one of hers.
Until I write to you again,
I love you, sister.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Today you would of been 34.
The most ironic thing occured today. Laura and I went to visit and pay our respects to your site today, and we couldnt find ya, so we asked the Memorial Park to show us where your placement was. They told us that they just recieved your marker back, and were planning the enurnment today and were going to call me. I said it was your birthday today, and if we could do it at that moment, it would be cool. Kinda like a final birthday gift to you! So, They dug the hole, and I got to place your urn into the ground, cover it back with dirt, and put you to rest.
We brought you balloons, one had Garfield on it, saying Happy Birthday! Whenever I see Garfield, I think of you.
I love you!!
Happy Birthday!!

My beautiful sister, Lisa Marie
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Footprints in the Sand
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