Reality

A certain reality has been setting in for me. It's the reality that you are really gone from my life.
My mind has done what its famous for, paralyzing me from the pain. But, Lisa, there are those moments of weakness when I am driving along the freeway, and a certain song comes on the radio, and I begin to cry...and when the crying isnt enough, I scream to you that I can not do this...I can not handle this.
You were my family. It was always you and I. Now, its just I.
Its a cruel world, LIsa, as you know by now, Laura's cousin, your good friend, Larry also passed away recently. What a crued life to throw at someone....first, Laura lost you, now, less than 3 months later, she loses her close cousin. And what Jody must be going through. Her best friend, and now her brother?

I know that there can be no other pain in this world like the pain I am feeling now. I just hope that if Chris and I ever concieve, that we have a healthy, full termed baby that out lives us.

I love you , Lisa. I miss you sooo much, and be assured, if we do end up pregnant, and have a girl, she will have your middle name as one of hers.
Until I write to you again,
I love you, sister.